First, some background…

I would like to say that this all kicked off with the discovery of the app, 3nder, but that would be a lie. And I don’t want us to start off with lies. I’ve actually been thinking about this – having a threesome, bringing another girl into our relationship – for awhile.

I suppose the seed was planted when I found out an acquaintance of ours had a polyamorous relationship, i.e. he had two girlfriends. Both were fine with it. The girls were bi. They had sex with each other and with him – together and alone – and I have to admit I was intrigued. I started turning the idea around in my head to see if I could do something like that. Could I be ok with another woman having sex with ‘my man’? The answer was a resounding yes.

Now that three-person couple has since broken up (the guy and one of the girls are still together, so I suppose you could say the relationship fractured rather than broke up completely). But, for me, it was more about seeing that it could work, even if just for a moment. I suppose it’s a big risk regardless, maybe your relationship will shatter entirely and nothing will be salvageable at all but I don’t believe that. I think we’re stronger than that.

But, while I’m at it, I should confess that I’d been thinking about this even before I heard about my two-girlfriend-having friend. I’d been turned on by thoughts of my partner being with another woman for a long time. I hesitate to say always as I’m not sure that’s entirely true. I like the thought of him being desired by other women. When we’re out, I like seeing him talk to them. When he’s at work (he works in an industry where he meets lots of people, especially women), I like seeing him talk and flirt with women (and them flirting back). I like that other women want him.

Now, we’ve had threesomes before but that was back in the early days, when things were hot and bothered. We’ve quietened down somewhat since then and I’m older now and, if not less sure of myself, then at least more cautious when it comes to these things. I don’t want to damage what we have and I draw the line at doing anything with our friends. Previous threesomes have been with friends and I always found it a bit awkward afterwards, even if we’re still friends with most of them (the ones that we aren’t friends with aren’t due to the threesome activity).

So, after much tentative discussion, we’ve decided to give it a try. We don’t want to totally rule out finding someone the ‘old school way’ as in ‘in real life’ but we’re also giving a few apps and websites a try. That being said, we’re pretty social and we often find female friends and friends of friends being quite flirty with us, something we could potentially turn into something more concrete with a bit of work. Still, we don’t want to be that creepy couple that hits on every single female in sight. How to find a balance? This is why I like the idea of an app because you don’t know the women. But then, they could be stone cold crazy.

Ah… the modern era. Anyways, that’s the background. I will update you with further thoughts/actions as they occur.

Image from Blogthings

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