Today felt like a good day to post our rules.
At this stage, they’re not overly complicated. We might flesh them out more once we see how the first experience goes and have a better understanding of what we liked or didn’t like. These are just things we feel will keep our relationship intact and act as the basis for how we conduct ourselves until we have a better idea of what we’re looking for and what’s acceptable.
- We both have to agree on who we see – there should be no pressure to see anyone we’re not sure about
- We always see the person as a couple, never alone, unless we previously agree that this is ok
- We both have to be across any communication we have with this person, both before and after any encounters
- Ours is the primary relationship – if either one of us feels unsure or threatened, we stop and take stock of what’s going on.
That’s what we’ve got so far. They’re definitely not in the vein of ‘rules are meant to be broken’. I know if my partner were to violate any of these I would be very hurt and I’m sure he would feel the same way. The threat of dishonesty and deception would be very real if there wasn’t any trust between us so agreeing on these points first up will hopefully make us both feel more secure going into this.
But really, it’s all just words until we actually do something and see how we feel about it. This both scares and excites me.
Got this image from Tube In New Braunfels