You know you’ve got problems when you can’t tell ‘taking it slow’ from the friend zone

Yesterday I got to thinking about how much different this thing with Andy is compared to Eve. Eve was straight sex right off the bat. Very respectful and classy and all that but still, it was very much sex-based communication (even though, for us, I think it could have been more).

With Andy, we’ve spent a lot more time getting to know each other, finding out about everyone’s lives and so forth and not really much on actual sex at all. Definitely no sexting or nude pictures. 😉 Andy has made it clear she’s interested in a poly relationship with another girl and a guy. She’s been on adult sites and felt similarly confronted by all the full frontal nudity.

I tell you, you feel like the world’s biggest creep messaging someone who’s only photo is a close up shot of their vagina. Not that I don’t love vaginas, but still, it feels weird that being your sole point of reference for contacting this person. You get me, right? I’m pretty confident this doesn’t make me a prude.

But anyways, as I was saying, we all have quite a bit in common on the whole mentality side of things (even if our lifestyles are quite different) and yet I still find myself wondering if the sexual connection will be there (because that’s still important, right?). Is it good that we’re getting to know each other more first or should there be more sexual tension? Are we already friend zoned, to use the colloquial term? I don’t think so but, for me, I had an interesting experience that makes me wonder how I feel about it all.

Ever since we’ve embarked on this journey, I have been feeling much more connected to my partner. We’ve been more open with each other, having lots of deep conversations and talking more about what we’re interested in, both emotionally and sexually. Oh, and we’ve also been fucking more. A lot more. Which is awesome, of course.

One development is that we’ve starting talking dirty to each other, which is something we’d never really gotten into that much before. I’m more of a dirty texter than talker but this whole experience has inspired me to speak up a bit more during sex. Usually this “speaking up” consists of talking about what we’d want to do to another woman if she was with us, which is a huge turn on for me (especially thinking about my partner with someone else). Yet, when my partner tried to get me talking about what we’d do to Kristy, I clammed up. Couldn’t do it.

Now, I’m not sure if it’s because we haven’t been sexual with her at all and we don’t have any pictures or fantasies to directly rip off (like we did with Eve). Or maybe it’s been so respectful that I didn’t want to tarnish it (unlikely). Or do I just not find her attractive? I think I do. She’s very androgynous, which I like. I just don’t know.

The whole thing has me very confused but I’m trying not to read too much into it. We’re meeting her for the first time on Monday so I guess we’ll figure it out then. If she’s well, that is, she’s caught the bug that’s going around at the moment. My partner – actually I’m getting sick of calling him that, let’s add J to the mix – is recovering from it as well and I just got over it last week. So, as long as everyone’s well and no one dies over the weekend, we should get to meet her! Exciting and scary!

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