Out of nowhere on Sunday, J says that he’s been thinking about partner swapping . Ok maybe not out of nowhere. The girl I was kissing and in the bath with on Saturday night is in an open/poly relationship with her boyfriend. They are the ones that originally inspired me to think of poly as an option for J and me (I mentioned them in my very first post).
I’m not sure what their relationship is now. I don’t know if they have a new girlfriend. I don’t know if they see people separately. I think at least he does based on stories he’s told me about his weekend. Plus he’s never had an issue with me kissing ‘his’ girl. Anyways, J overheard the girl telling her partner that she wanted to go back to our hotel room and he said she could go but he didn’t plan to (he did in the end). I’m not totally sure what their arrangement is but it must have gotten J thinking.
He’s still not keen on (1) me seeing other men on my own or (2) us having an MFM threesome but he is coming around to the idea of an MMFF type situation. His reasoning is that he doesn’t want me to be disrespected. In his mind, for me to go out and be with another guy who I would tell that I’m in open relationship, that guy will think ‘oh, she just wants more dick no strings attached so I can do as I please’ or something along those lines. I suppose it’s up to me how I let people treat me but I can see his point. I’m sure I would encounter those types of people in my travels (as would a single woman in the same situation).
However, if we were to see another couple, there would be the implicit understanding that respect is a required part of the transaction (wrong word, but you get my drift). Everyone is seeing everyone at once so there’s not as much space for judgement or bad behaviour. He can protect me, I suppose, which is a nice idea. Plus, us both being with someone else at the same time would probably distract him from his jealousy (which he says is something he needs to deal with when it comes to men).
This conversation came as quite a shock to me after our earlier discussions in May and July, where he was so anti-any new dick. It just goes to show that people’s opinions can change and relationships aren’t static. Now, that’s not to say that our next step is joining the queue at our closest swinger’s club, of which there are a few (yes, I looked – a while back though). I think our main focus is still to find a girlfriend but if we happen to meet a couple that we click with along the way so be it. We’ll see what happens.