Months ago, we bought tickets to a John Oliver concert with a (non-poly) couple we’re friends with. However, early last week, the husband realised he was going to be away on a boys’ weekend and wouldn’t be able to make it. We’d happened to mention the show to Carmen on Monday (when she cooked dinner… and breakfast for us) and she’d expressed an interest in going. So, when we found out our friend couldn’t go, we told his wife, T, that Carmen would take the ticket (we’re out to her) and T was cool with that and said she was excited to meet her (Carmen).
And so it was that Carmen had her first interaction with one of our friends. Well, the first interaction that didn’t occur while drunk in a bar anyways. She was a bit late to the show so J stayed outside and waited for her while my friend and me went in. The opening act had started by the time they got in so we couldn’t really say any proper hellos until the end. After the show, we all went for pho and ice cream. Carmen has a really inappropriate sense of humour that fit in really well with everyone. We spent the night laughing and teasing one another and both Carmen and T messaged us later saying how much fun they had and how much they each liked the other.
So that was good.
Our date with Libby (last Thursday) also went well. We were especially charming and had her laughing all night. J seemed to think we were a sure thing but Libby announced that she doesn’t have sex on the first date and I swear I heard J’s dreams shatter into a thousand tiny, little pieces. I almost chuckled. We have another date lined up for this Thursday so we’ll see how that pans out. She’s a bit younger than us (23 vs J @ 30 and me @ 32) but has similar interests and seemed open to the idea of a relationship with a couple. I suppose you never know until things actually start happening (like where we’re at with Carmen).
What I have been finding funny is the whole “I don’t have sex on the first date” thing. I was an ALWAYS have sex on the first ‘meeting’ (not date) kind of person so long as I felt an attraction so I find it hard to understand why you would deny yourself being with someone if you know you want to (more on my thoughts on that here). I do get that people think ‘oh, they’ll think I’m a slut/I’m easy/whatever’ but is that still a thing now? The timeline does seem to be shortening though because I seem to recall that, once upon a time, it was sex on the third date so second date sex is clearly an improvement. Yay for progress.
We had the same thing with Carmen. She said she was attracted to us on the first date but wanted to wait. When she told us that (on the third date, after fucking us for the second time), I joked, “Oh, you fucked us on the second date that definitely doesn’t make you a slut.” She laughed. Just to clarify my dry, sarcastic sense of humour: I wasn’t insulting her, more just pointing out the ridiculousness of it all. Some people might have judged her for hopping into bed on the first night but both J and me don’t subscribe to that channel of thought. Do what you want, we say, especially if ‘what you want’ includes sleeping with us. 🙂