I really like that lately there’s so much emphasis on the different types of sexualities that exist in this world. It’s no longer just homo-, hetero- and bi-sexual. There are honestly so many different types of being with recognised names and definitions (not going to go into them here as honestly I’m still trying to understand it all) but it’s a beautiful thing that we’re no longer forced to fit within these little boxes. Of course, we’re nowhere near perfect but we’re making progress.
The term that intrigues me most is pansexual.
According to Amplify Your Voice, pansexuality is the sexual attraction towards people regardless of gender also known as omnisexuality, some pansexuals refer to themselves as gender blind as to them gender is insignificant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others.
I heard this term awhile back and I thought what does this mean? With all the fluidity of sexuality, to identify as bisexual now almost seems outdated. It’s not because of course you can genuinely feel that way. Some people are just attracted to men or women, not trans or gender fluid people.
But what am I? Do I need a label? I don’t necessarily think so but it’s an interesting thing to ponder. Having grown up in a semi-traditional household, my bisexuality didn’t really cement itself until my mid-late teens. You’re taught that it’s normal to be attracted to people of the opposite sex so that’s what you focus on. But, eventually, those of us who are that way inclined start to notice that there are more fish in the sea, so to speak.
Now that I’m 32, I can say with the utmost conviction that I’m attracted to both men and women. I find women more physically attractive than men but connect more with men on a mental level. Women are so soft and beautiful and amazing and I want to sleep with them and seduce them and take care of them but not necessarily be in a long term relationship with them. Men I want to fuck and I connect with them more mentally, conversationally, socially.
It’s weird. I find women hotter but I always end up with guys. Maybe I’m not brave enough to bite the bullet and be with a woman. Actually, I know I’m not because, in my mind, I think it will be more intense, more emotional, more draining and I’m scared of that. Who knows if that’s the case in a relationship setting but in a social setting I already know that I get on better with guys, even if it’s always a woman that turns my head on the street, in a bar, at the grocery store, you get the picture.
Now, I’ve always called myself bi because that’s all I knew but now there’s pansexual so maybe there are more options for me (if I was single). Someone asked me the other day if I could be with someone who was trans and I said yes. For me, I’m attracted to personality and (of course) to looks. As long as I found that person attractive on those terms, I don’t think I would care what gender they were or weren’t (e.g. gender neutral or gender fluid). I find all kinds of people attractive so if they stimulate me mentally there’s no reason I would turn them down on the basis that they didn’t fit into the traditional gender structure. For me, gender doesn’t really play a role.
Then there’s this other neat term, again from Amplify Your Voice:
Polysexuality is the sexual attraction to more than one gender but do not wish to be known as bisexual as it implies that there are only two binary sexes, do not confuse this with pansexuality (Pan meaning All) and (Poly meaning many).
A good option for those who want to hedge their bets with many, instead of going balls deep with all. Of course, I jest but it is a good option because it isn’t as exclusive as bisexual seems to sound nowadays (as AYV says).