An adult shopping spree (if only I could make a damn decision)

After reading a review of a vibrator that sounded particularly delightful, I’ve decided to purchase my first vibrator since my early twenties [insert gasp here]. This is a big step for me as I’ve always been in the camp of ‘my fingers do the job just fine’. Things changed when a friend recommended adding a vibrator to my anal escapades and then the review was really the deciding factor. However, in typical me fashion, I’m massively over-thinking things.

J just looks at me and shakes his head. I can see him thinking, ‘how hard can it be? It’s a fucking vibrator!”. He’s actually said as much. Still, he’s not the one doing the looking. There are SO many to choose from. I spent last night Googling the original vibrator and, after reading many reviews, have now expanded my search to similar ones in different brands. I want something that stimulates both my clit and my G-spot but isn’t too cumbersome to be used during vaginal/anal sex.

I’m set on something internal as I’ve never had a G-spot orgasm before [another gasp here]. All of my orgasms have been thanks to my clit, turns out my G-spot is quite the slacker. So much so in fact that I’m one of those people that doesn’t quite believe it exists. I’m happy to be proved wrong but, until then, I will take all talk of G-spots with a grain of salt. It’s either that or believe I was born without one. Actually, maybe that’s the better option here, rather than finding out I have a really lazy one.

Anyway, back to my shopping adventures. You’d be forgiven for thinking that, seeing as I know what I want, I can now easily find one online and commence the search for my elusive G-spot. But no! There are so many different types, shapes and vibrating patterns and strengths. While the reviews are incredibly helpful, I’m beginning to see how hugely different women’s bodies can be. Holy shit, it’s insane.

Why is there nowhere I can go to ‘try before I buy’? Surely someone’s onto this online shopping conundrum by now? And while I don’t relish the idea of trying out a used (and hopefully disinfected) product, I also really don’t want to spend $160+ on a device that might just end up making me feel like there’s something wrong with me and my non-cooperative bits.

My last experience was with the Rabbit, the supposed holy grail of vibrators. I bought this expensive contraption, this marvel of mechanics and sheer science, and then the unexpected happened. It did not make me come, not even once. The noise distracted me, the rotating beads annoyed (and frightened) me and the stupid rabbit ears didn’t even reach my clit, no matter how I adjusted them. And the damn thing was uncomfortable as fuck. It ended up making me feel like I was defective. So I swore off vibrators that very day and me and my right hand middle and index fingers have been best buds ever since.

I feel like this story might have a slightly better ending this time around – maybe because I’m more patient, more sexually mature and more understanding of my body these days. Back then, I don’t think I’d even come from penetrative sex before, just oral. So I feel like I’ve come a long way. I just need to make a damn decision on which pretty coloured silicone device I want buzzing around inside me.

Oh yeah, and I’m getting a bigger butt plug. The plan is to use the butt plug to warm me up and/or while J’s inside my pussy then use the vibrator while J fucks my ass. I’ve never really been much of a toy person before but this whole poly experience is making me more open and adventurous in ways that far exceed just wanting to bring another woman into our relationship.

On the whole, shoe shopping is definitely more fun but I feel like I’ll get more real pleasure from these particular purchases. Suggestions are more than welcome!


12 thoughts on “An adult shopping spree (if only I could make a damn decision)

  1. Hey there, I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad experience with toys, that’s terrible! I understand your trepidation, so I’m here to help! This is actually my area of expertise, so I’d love to talk to you to help you choose what’s right for you. You’re right – they’re so damn expensive that you HAVE to buy the right one the first time. I have a couple ideas for you, and might be able to get you some discounts with my preferred vendors. If you’d like to talk, you can reach me at Everyone deserves pleasure!


    Liked by 1 person

  2. I hear ya on the try-before-buy thing. They could use condoms on them to reduce the ugh factor. Anyway, one problem is the distance from your vaginal opening to your clit. This should be a size every rabbit-type product includes on the box. The lelo I used on my wife was a terrible fit for her, while the cheaper rabbit-style one was perfect. So that was money totally wasted.

    Anyway, good luck with your purchase!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Yes so many ways they could allow testers. It’s so necessary, we’re all so different and if you buy something that isn’t adjustable to your proportions then it’s a total waste of money. I’m really tiny so the rabbit clit thing was nowhere near where it needed to be unless I didn’t put the shaft bit in (all technical terms there!). So frustrating and then yesterday’s research made me realise that even things like the style and intensity of vibration can make a huge difference. Some women just can’t come from weaker pulses or whatever. OH MY GOD. The orgasm/dildo God does not smile upon us (women, I mean). 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. If you’re looking for g-spot, perhaps a glass dildo instead of a vibrator. That was how I had my first g-spot orgasm. Never had anything close to a g-spot orgasm with myself or my partner previously, but once I managed with the glass dildo, I have now managed with my partner and manage one in most sessions. It really is about trying a variety of different things until you know what particular features work for you. Try to buy from somewhere with a really good returns policy like Lovehoney. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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