Well, this morning I got my lazy ass out of bed and went to the gym. The trainers had prepared a fresh kind of hell that involved high intensity cardio interspersed with high reps in weights. After my first set of cardio on the stair climber/cross trainer/whatever, I felt like I was going to die but I also felt a very different feeling. Like I was very, very close to coming. And it wasn’t an entirely pleasant feeling.
Maybe it was just that I felt hot and sweaty. Maybe it was because I was in an entirely inappropriate public setting. Whatever it was, it didn’t feel right. The word that springs to mind is “engorged” and I’ve never been a huge fan of that particular word. Thankfully, the feeling retreated after a little recovery and the switch to weights, which weren’t as high intensity as the cardio. I managed to get through the rest of the session without anything more embarrassing than being extremely unfit and moderately red and sweaty. Still, it’s not the first time I’ve felt this way during exercise and it always, always, always strikes me during the hardest cardio workouts.
Perhaps my mind realises how much my body is suffering and sends these almost-orgasms as a kind of gift, without realising how FUCKED a gift it is. If this is the reason, my mind is a massive dick and/or extremely out of touch with what’s acceptable in good company (second option, definitely the second option). Or maybe this is a sign I should slack off more at the gym. Who needs to be getting orgasms at such a time? Or maybe I should work out harder and embrace my not-so-inner exhibitionist. Oh the choices…