I heart strip clubs

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I LOVE strip clubs and anyone that knows me knows this for a fact. I’m an absolute fiend for a woman on a pole. Or a lap dance. Or a private show. I love seeing a woman with so much stage presence no one in the audience can look away. I love when you get a lap dance or private show and they make you feel like the only person in the world. I love their curves and their soft skin, when they flick their hair and how they smell when they lean against you. I suppose the thing I love most is that their sexiness is out in the open, displayed openly and with abandon, rather than bottled up and hidden away like it is in real life.

Whenever we travel, we nearly always end up in a strip club at some point. New York, Miami, Las Vegas, New Orleans, Jamaica, Thailand, Sydney, Melbourne, the Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia, I think that about covers it. I’m a moderately well travelled strip club afficionado (I’ve been to more places, just not always to strip clubs). Here are some of my most interesting experiences:

Kingston, Jamaica: easily the most aggressive club I’ve ever been in. The girls literally drag you into private shows. Plus I walked out covered in what I thought were hickeys, only to wipe my neck and breasts and realise – thank god – it was just purple lipstick.

Las Vegas, Nevada: we spent hours in the private room with two gorgeous Latin girls who were fucking hilarious. They had us in stitches the whole time aside from being incredibly sexy. Also, apparently you have to drink while you’re back there so, even though we said we didn’t need any more alcohol, we didn’t have a choice and every time we extended the show, they took J’s fingerprints. Eventually they said no more extensions and turfed us out into an empty club, our friends were gone and it was broad daylight outside. The club owners felt bad for us and sent us home in the strip club limo. Win!

Melbourne, Australia: J and me went down for a weekend getaway and ended up in Spearmint Rhino. Surprise surprise. He went to the bathroom and, as soon as he left, I spied a super-hot black chick who introduced herself as Slice. We proceeded to spend the rest of the night in a private room with her and later her Colombian friend who was hot as fuck and smelt amazing. J had just had a shoulder reconstruction at that point and was on some pretty heavy duty painkillers so he probably should have been drinking but oh well. We had a fun night.

Miami, Florida: King of Diamonds, possibly the greatest strip club ever. Even with police with machine guns out the front, this place was still awesome. Fuck it! They enhanced it, added an element of danger or whatever. The poles go straight up to the roof, which is stories high, and some of the shit the girls do is incredible. These women are athletes. Not all of them, but a fair few. It’s basically all black girls as well.

I’ve never seen so much money get thrown around. At one point, I was dancing near the stage and it was literally raining money from the sky. They have a guys that stand by the stage and sweep up the money and make sure no one steals any. Plus the music is really good. The second time we went there was Fight Night apparently. I wasn’t super keen on the girls boxing with each other but then O.T. Genasis sang I’m in Love with the Coco live and Busta Rhymes was there. It was crazy. I got plenty of lap dances but no private shows which was a bit disappointing but still it was a whole lot of fun.

Sure, sometimes strip clubs can be a bit feral or cheap but I honestly think it comes down to the girl. As a former stripper of five years, I can attest to the fact that you’re the agent of your own destiny. You decide how much of yourself you give away or let a guy get away with. Of course you’re going to get the occasional sleaze who says something crass or goes the grope before you can stop him but that’s what security’s for. Still, I was lucky enough to work in places where management stood up for us, so maybe I was lucky.

Long story short: strip clubs are fun but expensive. Enjoy responsibly. Or don’t, it’s more fun when you don’t.

Image credit: DopeClusive

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8 thoughts on “I heart strip clubs

  1. Hahaha. I used to be you! Every business trip I went on used to be about scoping out the local clubs. But I eventually decided the money I dropped in those places wasn’t worth it. If I were wealthy though I’d live in the damn places. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

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