Read any romance novel and you’ll soon be convinced that simultaneous orgasms are a magical occurrence, the stuff of soul mates. When you meet your ‘one true love’, the sex will be passionate and earth shattering and you will both come together and collapse into a sweaty pile of loved-up-ness. Cue real life: maybe it’s just me but this actually happens quite often.
The first time it happened was with a guy I’d been seeing semi-regularly but not exclusively (surprise!). We’d probably been seeing each other a few weeks. The first few times we slept together, he was really, really quiet (like silent) and I asked if he was close or something like that and he said he’d come already. Awhile ago apparently and I’d totally missed it.
Well, after that I asked him to please be more vocal in expressing his pleasure while fucking me and – thankfully – he obliged. Quiet guys are the worst; they wouldn’t like it if I laid there without a peep yet somehow it’s ok for them cos they’re men and they’re manly and what have you. Sorry, bit of a rant, don’t get me started on quiet men. Anyways, where was I?
Oh yes, so this past lover of mine started making noise and I started being able to tell when he came. One day we were at his house getting frisky and his flatmates were out in the living room opening the possibility to the fact that they might walk in on us or hear us (which is always a turn on for me, I love the challenge of having to stay super quiet so people can’t hear). I was on my back in missionary and he somehow hit he the right spot (for both of us) and we came at the same time.
This was definitely the first time I’d experienced simultaneous orgasms and, thinking back on it, probably one of the first times I’d ever orgasmed (from someone else). It seemed pretty significant, at least in a sexual sense.
Yet, here I am over ten years later, slagging it off as something that happens all the time. Well, I kind of feel like it does.
When J and me first started fucking, I found that we’d often come at the same time. The sounds of him getting close would push me over the edge and then my noises would make him come. The best kind of vicious cycle. Even after ten years, it still happens quite frequently. Maybe it takes more than just his noises nowadays but he often holds out for me to get there and then comes at the same time or just afterwards. Not always, but frequently enough.
I definitely think it’s a nice thing and it makes the whole experience more intimate. No one wants to be the person that finishes first and has to wait for the other one to be done/facilitate them getting there (does that sound really selfish? Sorry, it’s not really as much of a chore as I just made it sound. I’m a horrible person). But I definitely don’t view it with the lovestruck eyes of some romance novel heroine, convinced its fate and yada yada yada.
It’s biology plain and simple and there are basic reproductive reasons for why it serves humans well to come at the same time. Not going to go into them right now but, in a nutshell, it has to do with getting the sperm to the egg as quickly as possible (yep, talk about a massive downer, probably should have ended after “not going to go into them right now”. Oh well, and you thought it was all about LOVE. Well, you learnt something today, didn’t you?).
Hmmmmm… I feel like this post has taken a very anti-romantic turn. I’m going to quit before I’m totally lost in a death spiral of sexual bah humbug-ness.