The plight of the newly crowned cuckquean

For the last week and a bit, I’ve been feeling very confused and out of sorts. I thought I was a cuckquean, someone who’s turned on by the idea of her partner being with someone else, and I definitely am when it’s part of a threesome with me involved or watching. Then one of my main sexual fantasies came true; Jared slept with someone without me there (two actually people). And my whole sexual (and emotional) world got thrown into turmoil.

At first, I was hugely turned on by it – him telling me about it, me imagining it, by fucking me and telling me about it, me playing with myself while he told me about it. You get the drift. But, as time wore on, the horniness became tempered with hurt and distrust. I explained it all in more detail yesterday but basically I started to question whether cuckqueanery (is that a word?) was an actual thing for me or only something I could handle in fantasy or threesome form.

Enter Enigmatic Amor’s very helpful post about her play partners, one of whom is also a cuckquean and seems/seemed to have similar problems. It gives me some comfort to know it’s not necessarily all orgasms and laughter all the time. When you’re embarking on a new sexual adventure, you’re not going to take all the right turns. You’re going to fall over. You’re going to get lost and yell at each other – laying blame at every fuck up. You’re trying new things and pushing boundaries. Buttons are bound to get fucking stomped on. Anal rarely goes well the first time around so why should cuckqueanery (fuck it, I like it. I’m using it)?

So, with this in mind, I’m just going to let myself enjoy things, secure in the knowledge that the boundaries (that I can think of) have been set and that we each understand what the other is comfortable with. I’ve got plenty of imagery to keep me entertained.

  • Jared bending Cherie over in the bar bathroom, sliding her shorts to the side and slipping inside her
  • The two of them all slick and soapy in the shower while Willa watches
  • Willa sliding her beautiful, full lips around his cock in the bathtub
  • Him playing with Willa’s pussy under the blanket on the couch with everyone else in the room none the wiser (or maybe totally aware of what’s going on – I doubt they were as discreet as they thought they were which I think kind of turns me on more)
  • The two of them furiously making out on the couch as soon as everyone had left for the beach
  • Him sliding his face between her thighs and licking her little pink pussy with its delicate little wings, tasting her wetness
  • The look on their faces and the sound they make when he first thrusts inside her
  • The way she sounds and how her cunt feels when it tightens around his cock in orgasm
  • What she says when she’s begging him to come across her stomach and the sound he makes when he grants her wish
  • The look in her eyes when she leans down and licks the last drops of come off the end of his cock
  • The two of them spent and exhausted, collapsed on the couch afterwards until everyone came back from the beach and started banging on the front door.

As you can see, I have a lot to think about.

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “The plight of the newly crowned cuckquean

  1. Playing together is very different than playing alone. I can totally see how that would cause issues. I hope you guys can find reasonable boundaries. Obviously, we know he is not ok with you playing with other men, so he should be able to wrap his head around your hurt.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. He has and we’ve now found our boundaries (for now). I think the problem comes with assumption. You’re both part of the same conversation but one person things it’s a green light and the other thinks it’s amber (to be green lighted upon further discussion when the situation arises) and we don’t find out about these different views until someone acts on then and all hell breaks loose.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, you are definitely a Cuckquean. You were hurt as you have a right to be. Jared went before having full permission. But even carrying that hurt you are turned on and listing all the hot details that still turn you on. Welcome to your kink. 🙂

    The trippy thing about cuckqueanery (I like it!) is that the jealous feelings serve to spin the hotness and desire even further into orbit. Weird but true.

    I’ll write more about my beginnings with the couple. It was hot and fun and a whole lot of difficult but it’s years later now and we’re still friends and playing again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When all that stuff sent me off to such an unpleasant place, I was so disappointed with myself. I always thought I wasn’t jealous, that my being turned on by it made me immune to jealousy. But yes, I definitely think it was the lack of explicit permission. If we’d been able to have a conversation about it, things would have been much easier on me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Part of the reason this kink gets her hot has to do with jealousy and/or control. My girlfriend loves the control. It was something she never had when her boyfriends had cheated on her for real. With her husband, she had the control because he fucks other women for her. Wildly different but her whole thing is the need to have control.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I am a cuckquean as well. I have also had issues with him having fun without me. For the most part I got excited from it until the insecurities set in. I felt like he disrespected me and I lost my cool. I am over it now. I am guessing from the way I reacted he won’t do it again. I just need to be there or know in advance.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Is that how you solved things? By making sure any play dates are discussed in advance unless you’re there? Can I ask what happened? Totally fine if it’s too personal, I’m just interested in hearing how other cuckqueans handle their issues.

      Like

      1. No, I don’t mind sharing.

        I was cheated on in my marriage. So I have issues with being the last to know. I am in a somewhat open relationship now. We had played together with a couple. Well, I didn’t really care for this couple. I had suggested him still see them if he wanted. So the weekend of Christmas he was coming back home from working out of town. I was home waiting. He came home very late, after 10p. He said he had stopped by their house. I was so pissed! He told me as we cuddled in bed. I turned my back to him and eventually moved into the living room. He said he knew I wouldn’t join him in seeing them so he stopped by there first. I never said a word but he knew I was pissed. Finally we talked about whether we had said I wanted to know first. He says it was never mentioned. So we agreed to disagree. And we began from that night forward. I have tonknow first and no breaking plans with me for extra fun.

        I am still ok with him having fun without me but he won’t. I think it is such a turn on. He says he wants just couple fun or threesomes. I think I scared him. lol

        We have had full swap with another couple. I love to watch him! I just need that level of respect. To me the female part of that first couple was disrespectful. I don’t mind sharing my man but he is mine. You are gonna be with him so chill on the crazy flirting.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Hahaha that’s it EXACTLY. The general discussion is taken as permission by one person where the other thinks it’s just theory and still needs to be agreed to on a person by person basis. I haven’t had any trouble with women yet but I can see how it would be an issue.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. I don’t think I am the jealous type, anymore. I have learned alot about how to fail in a relationship with my failed marriage. It has helped me so much with my current boyfriend. Life is too short and it is meant to be enjoyed. I love the fact we can share ourselves openly with eachother and other people. I just need there to be no secrets. He was oblivious to the women whom I didn’t like. He never seen the red flags. It’s a learning process for us both. Neither of us have never had a relationship like this. I wish it was all about just enjoying sex and enjoying watching him or hearing him relive an encounter. Some people are shady so we have to be aware.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yeah, you have to be very attuned to each other’s feelings or, if not, communicate the hell out of everything. I think we’re getting the hang of it. I definitely don’t want to stop exploring now because we had one unfortunate misunderstanding. I know what he did wasn’t malicious or meant to hurt me. He just didn’t know he boundaries.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s