For the last week and a bit, I’ve been feeling very confused and out of sorts. I thought I was a cuckquean, someone who’s turned on by the idea of her partner being with someone else, and I definitely am when it’s part of a threesome with me involved or watching. Then one of my main sexual fantasies came true; Jared slept with someone without me there (two actually people). And my whole sexual (and emotional) world got thrown into turmoil.
At first, I was hugely turned on by it – him telling me about it, me imagining it, by fucking me and telling me about it, me playing with myself while he told me about it. You get the drift. But, as time wore on, the horniness became tempered with hurt and distrust. I explained it all in more detail yesterday but basically I started to question whether cuckqueanery (is that a word?) was an actual thing for me or only something I could handle in fantasy or threesome form.
Enter Enigmatic Amor’s very helpful post about her play partners, one of whom is also a cuckquean and seems/seemed to have similar problems. It gives me some comfort to know it’s not necessarily all orgasms and laughter all the time. When you’re embarking on a new sexual adventure, you’re not going to take all the right turns. You’re going to fall over. You’re going to get lost and yell at each other – laying blame at every fuck up. You’re trying new things and pushing boundaries. Buttons are bound to get fucking stomped on. Anal rarely goes well the first time around so why should cuckqueanery (fuck it, I like it. I’m using it)?
So, with this in mind, I’m just going to let myself enjoy things, secure in the knowledge that the boundaries (that I can think of) have been set and that we each understand what the other is comfortable with. I’ve got plenty of imagery to keep me entertained.
- Jared bending Cherie over in the bar bathroom, sliding her shorts to the side and slipping inside her
- The two of them all slick and soapy in the shower while Willa watches
- Willa sliding her beautiful, full lips around his cock in the bathtub
- Him playing with Willa’s pussy under the blanket on the couch with everyone else in the room none the wiser (or maybe totally aware of what’s going on – I doubt they were as discreet as they thought they were which I think kind of turns me on more)
- The two of them furiously making out on the couch as soon as everyone had left for the beach
- Him sliding his face between her thighs and licking her little pink pussy with its delicate little wings, tasting her wetness
- The look on their faces and the sound they make when he first thrusts inside her
- The way she sounds and how her cunt feels when it tightens around his cock in orgasm
- What she says when she’s begging him to come across her stomach and the sound he makes when he grants her wish
- The look in her eyes when she leans down and licks the last drops of come off the end of his cock
- The two of them spent and exhausted, collapsed on the couch afterwards until everyone came back from the beach and started banging on the front door.
As you can see, I have a lot to think about.