This ring is quite the thing

I’m not much of a jewellery person. I never thought I’d wear an engagement ring or a wedding ring. I’ve never worn a ring for any serious length of time. I remember those mood rings everyone used to have in school and I hated mine. I hated the feeling of it still being there, even when you’d taken it off, that phantom tightness that would linger around your fingers for minutes or hours after you took it off. Ugh. Nope, didn’t like it one bit.

So when Jared proposed and presented me with a diamond, it seemed like a no-brainer to look at other options, besides just a ring. Yet, when the time came, nothing else seemed right. I definitely wanted something I could wear all the time but I was worried I’d break a necklace or lose a bracelet. I don’t have a good track record with accessories (thankfully in the past it’s all been cheap) and frankly I was quite terrified of breaking and/or losing the first piece of expensive jewellery I owned. A ring started to seem like the right choice the more I thought about it.

Yet, things have changed since I started wearing my engagement ring. I feel painfully conscious of how present the ring is. Maybe that’s kind of the point of wearing a ring and I’d just never worn one so no idea but it’s been quite surreal experience. This is a very real (and very beautiful) piece of jewellery that essentially tells the world someone’s got dibs on me. It symbolises the intended permanence of our relationship and impending marriage. I take it off to sleep and shower, etc. but that’s pretty much the only time I’m not wearing it. Every morning that I put it back on is a choice. 

If we’re arguing or not getting along that well, it’s still there slithering around on my finger as if to say, ‘I’m still here. What are you going to do about it?’ It forces me to think about the commitment I’m making. That’s not to say I’m thinking of calling off the wedding or anything, more just that it’s making me think a lot about what type of life I want. It’s a weird feeling, to have a piece of jewellery so intimately tied to your future.

This isn’t some pretty string of pearls that you wear when it matches today’s outfit. It’s a sign of your intention to spend the rest of your life with someone and that’s a big thing, a sometimes heavy weight and definitely not something to be taken lightly. And yes, at ten years together, we may have done a lot of the heavy lifting already but somehow this ring makes things feel more serious. Not that they weren’t before. Hmmm… I don’t know how to explain it but something’s definitely changed.

This whole ring thing is having much more of an effect than I thought it would. Here I was assuming it would just be pretty and sparkly but the damn thing’s making me think and feel shit and I did not sign up for this!


9 thoughts on “This ring is quite the thing

  1. Be careful what you wish for… you might get it. The ring comes with great responsibility and expectations since there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Some women (and even some men) ring and think it’ll be smooth sailing going forward… then find out what wearing it really means.

    A lot of women want that ring and maybe because it’s a reflection of their worth and value to a man and not really understanding that, yeah, you’re gonna have to do some stuff to prove that you are worthy enough to wear it, oh, like thinking and feeling.

    We romanticize the hell out of the ring but I’m thinking many don’t know – or care to know – that way, way back in the day, the ring meant, “I own you – you’re now the property of the man who gave it to you!”

    We know how women feel about that these days, huh?

    The ring is life changing; it represents love, permanence, commitment, duty and obligation and after you get one, that’s when you find out if you’re really worthy of wearing it. Many women think the goal is to get the ring and when they do, it’s all gravy after that… many find out that the ring is just the beginning.

    Now, my friend, you have the ring – are you ready for what happens next? I hope so!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this! I agree with you completely. To wear the ring is a very conscious thing and it symbolizes so much. I’m obsessed with my diamond and I look at it all the time. I work in fine jewelry so I’ve always known I’d love it, but I love hearing the perspective of someone who doesn’t usually wear jewelry. It’s so cool how it’s become so much more to you now. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m surprised by how much I love my ring. I wasn’t sure I would and it definitely freaked me out at first. I’d imagine it would be very different for someone who works in the jewellery industry. Was your fiancé brave enough to buy you a ring? The woman who made my custom ring said her partner bought her an engagement ring to propose with but she made herself another ring, which is the one she wears everyday. I can imagine it would be quite intimidating to buy jewellery for someone who makes it as a career!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Actually he was really smart and proposed with a fake. Then I picked out a setting I liked and we picked a loose diamond together. It was a really fun process!

        Liked by 1 person

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