I haven’t slept well the past two nights – for two reasons, I think.
- I’m getting a tattoo today; my biggest one so far (could take up to four hours I’m told). So that’s been freaking me out a bit even though she says we can just do the outline and do the colouring in another time. Still, my brain has taken this opportunity to throw me some of the weirdest dreams and just generally freak me out
- My husband and me both wanted to do different things for New Year. I was ok with us to separating and each doing what we want to do but he didn’t want to do that so we compromised. As it stands, we’re spending NYE and NYD down south with an eclectic bunch of randoms and a few people we know (his plan) then back coming up and spending 2 Jan – 7 Jan on the Northern Beaches with some of our friends (my plan). The problem here is that I hate being in big groups where I only know a few people plus there’s one person I really don’t want to be around, which is making me super anxious. It’s only two nights but I’m really, really, really not looking forward to it.
So yeah, my nerves are stretched pretty taut at the moment. I don’t want to use the word ‘panic’ but whatever this is feels pretty fucking awful. To top that off, I feel like I got eaten alive by mosquitoes last night. Either that or I was just dreaming that I was. If it was real, I suppose that makes three things that kept me up last night. Fun times.
I think once I get this tattoo over and done with (appointment is at 10am – it’s 8.50am now so I’ll need to leave soon), I’ll be in a better place to judge how I’m really feeling. But I know I’m not going to be excited about this first part of our NY’s plans. It’s just not a situation I ever enjoy without getting myself super drunk and/or high. I know everyone says NY is a massive shit show but I’ve been lucky enough to have some fun NYs over the past few years. This is the first one in a while that I’m not sure about and definitely the first one in ages where I’m downright anxious. We’ll see… I know it’s just another day of the year.
And now, to make things that little bit more interesting, public transport (mainly a bus in this case, although I suppose a train could also do me in) has failed me so now I get to add not quite running late but definitely cutting it fine to my list of worries. I wanted to have time to find something to eat (we have nothing at home) but that’ll definitely need to be done on the run now. Fuuuuuuuck these next few days but Happy New Year to everyone else! 😉